Another Misleading Title

Alright. Time for a little more brain/heart vomit.

I got a job. I'm now a school photographer and get to travel to a bunch of schools and take pictures of little kids. Well, not so little kids, too. I'm pretty excited. Okay. Maybe really excited. I get to take pictures, which is fantastic. I love being behind the camera and I'm kind of in love with the idea of working without having to worry about school.

I've decided that I'm going to take advantage of the time that I'm going to be spending driving to and from work and learn Japanese. It's going to be great.

I was on YouTube one day and found this German band (they sing in English, don't worry) and I love their music. Check it out:

Yeah. I think they're fantastic. It's okay if you disagree.

On to other topics.

I've been think a lot about friendships lately. Especially about how bad I am at forming them. Sometimes I'll want to be friends with someone that I already kind of know, but not very well and I'll have no idea how to talk to them. I'm really just an awkward person sometimes. I've gotten better, though. A little. So, if you're one of those people that I've maybe started talking to a little more, I want to be your friend. I'm not being weird (on purpose). Promise. So be my friend?

I miss biking. I think I'm going to start up again this week. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.


I also miss my short hair. A lot. I sometimes go through old photos and think, "Man, my hair looked so much better short. Why did I ever grow it out?" But I did grow it out and growing it out took forever, so I'm not sure if I'm going to cut it anytime soon. Opinions are welcome.

I think I've run out of things that I'm willing to share to the general public.

Cool.

You Know That

Knock-knock.

Hello? Are you there?

Knock-knock.

Hello?

Ring-ring.

Hello? Are you there?

Ring-ring.

Hello?

Listen I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I need someone to talk to and I don’t know who else I could talk to. You don’t even have to listen, just let me talk to your door.

Don’t turn me away just yet. Please.

I’m sorry. For everything. You were right and I didn’t listen I thought I would be okay. I thought I knew better.

But I didn’t.

I never do.

I’m confused. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I just know I don’t like it. What do I do?

Knock-knock.

Hello? Are you there?

Knock-knock.

Hello?

Listen. I was wrong when I said I didn’t want you to listen. But you probably knew that, didn’t you?

I need you, but you know that.

You don’t need me, do you?

I love you. You know that.

I want to feel loved again. You know that.

Ring-ring.

Hello? Are you there?

Ring-ring.

Hey, it’s me, but you know that.

One Week

I've been back home for a whole week today.

I feel like it was so much longer ago. I miss Orlando so much. I especially miss my friends. They're terrific. I have had some pretty awesome times up here, though. With people that I've known for a while and people I've just met. I can feel their love and warmth and it just makes my soul smile. I love being around these people.

It's always interesting when you move somewhere and people don't know everything about you anymore. It's no longer common knowledge that I play the ukulele. Not only do I play it, but I even made mine. This is the time that most people don't know even the simplest things about me. It's a little refreshing, but sometimes I want that good friend that knows not just what I like, but even what I'm thinking at times. Those moments when I'll be painting and just talking and she'd let me talk or choose to think to myself and I'd do the same for her.

I'm always surprised when people are happy to see me. Or when they want me to sit next to them. Especially when it's a person I don't know very well. I always wonder what they know about me or why they would want someone like me to be with them. I'm incredibly grateful for it, though. No matter how often it surprises me.

I wish I could express how much I love people. Especially good people. So. If you're human, I want you to know that I love you. And if you're the Doctor - I think you're pretty great, too. Simple as that.

Everything hasn't been perfect here, true. My sculpture broke, I lost a check and an incredibly important letter that one of my friends wrote me, I spent 2 1/2 hours at the doctor's office only to find out that I need to go back, I was ignored by my parents most of the time, and there are so many more bugs than usual that I'm about to go completely mad. But that's part of life. I'll move on.

I met this Japanese girl today that couldn't speak very much English. I want to learn Japanese so intensely right now. I've never been so ashamed of how helpless I was with the language. I've loved the  Japanese culture and language for so long, you would think I would've found some way of taking a class or something, right?

Anyway. To do list: Learn Japanese.